He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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