Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
high people should be assigned attendants
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
