I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
