How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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