Having a random hookup so left but love u
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
