do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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