Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Randomize
