i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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