i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
is it fun? or sober?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
