How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
