No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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