idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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