Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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