He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
