I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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