East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Randomize
