I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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