I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
