How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
