well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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