She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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