Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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