Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
