Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
