nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
