We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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