what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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