I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
