why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
