I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Randomize
