hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
