I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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