ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
