I feel great
I just peed on a car
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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