the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
