If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Drunk is not a location!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
