last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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