Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
should my penis look like a turkey
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
