walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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