I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
