dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
