I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
