I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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