just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
