She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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