Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
