come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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