so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
