hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
