and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I could make wine with my vomit
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The struggles of a small town man whore
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
