idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
