Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
