Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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