I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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