Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
