Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Duck Duck Cougar?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
