I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
