I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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