I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
